DATING A DOCTOR

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Despite the readily-apparent benefits, I’m probably the only chick who has issues with dating a doctor.

One of the first perks that comes to mind is he’s likely to be financially stable. The second is that you can save a bundle on office visits. If you have a thing for men in white coats, that would be the third. The last perk would be, if things work out, you can make reservations as “Dr. and Mrs.” That part might be kind of fun.

However, I have other issues that override all those pluses. First, this is a person who already knows what you look like nekkid (Yes, I spelled it like that on purpose). It’s his job, and he’s trained for years to intimately know your every nook and cranny. Every time I see a doctor, I feel like he’s looking at me with x-ray glasses on. Maybe I should look into clothing infused with steel or a radiation guard to deter that. And doesn’t knowing what I already look like nekkid make sex rather anticlimactic for him? Does he think, “Oh, another boob. I saw a better one two hours ago in the office”?

Secondly, every time I talk about something, is he secretly thinking which disorders I best fit into? In his mind is he thinking, “Oh, that was rather neurotic” or “She may have paranoid schizophrenia,” or is he just thinking, “There’s a pill for that”?

Thirdly, it’s really hard to keep from asking for free medical opinions. Why do you think my knee hurts? What’s this weird rash on my arm? Do you think I’m neurotic? Huh? Huh? Huh? Do you?

So what do I talk about if I can’t ask for medical opinions? Should I peruse his curriculum vitae? Should I ask what his favorite kind of surgery is? Does he know George Clooney because all doctors know each other? Oh, wait, George isn’t really – or is he?

One of my friends pointed out that having a doctor already know my every nook and cranny might be a factor that could work to my benefit. If he already knows that, he probably knows how to do a few tricks the average joe doesn’t. Maybe palpation could lead to palpitations. Regardless, I’d still want to wear a radiation protection drape on our dates. I wouldn’t want him to think I was easy.

Happy Dating!

Going on vacation for spring break and looking for some light yet steamy reading?  Check out the Nine Days In Greece series!

 

 

 

 

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FREE KINDLE DOWNLOAD

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Today, March 2, 2017, through Monday, March 6, 2017, I’m offering a free download of Before The Nine Days!  This book is the prequel to Nine Days In Greece.  Before Katie Collins traveled to the exotic island of Crete to meet her own personal Greek god, she had a very different story.

 

WHY WOMEN LOVE CHRISTIAN GREY

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“Women just love him because he’s loaded,” a guy friend mumbled bitterly.

“Have you read the books?” I asked.

“No. I hear they’re badly written.”

Doesn’t he realize that a story is a story, no matter how badly written? It’s about the story, baby.

The fact that Christian Grey can buy lunch for Anastasia Steel and would never think of accepting her attempt to pay for it is only part of what makes him appealing. Another part may be his ability to do a lot of pull-ups with no shirt on. And then there’s that weird balancing thing he does in his workout room, but that’s a whole ‘nother story.

So what is it about the damaged, intense, and neurotic Christian Grey that women really like? Did I mention “intense”? He’s all about Anastasia. He and his staff know where she is every second of the day. Normally that would place him into the “Psychos to Avoid” category, but it comes in super handy when he’s rescuing her all the time. And I mean ALL the time. This places him right up there with “Firefighter” in my list of super-hot jobs because, really, don’t we all want to be rescued? I’ve got a glass of wine in me, so that’s the only reason I’m admitting to that.

So what else do we love about him? He’s not boring in the bedroom. He gets ten out of ten stars for originality and creativity in that department. And, oh, the props in his closet….mmm, mmm, mmm. As a side note, guys who can do lots and lots of pull-ups look really good in jeans and just jeans. He is the ultimate prop.

The last thing I love – I mean we love about Christian Grey is that he is completely in love with Anastasia. There’s no glancing at another beautiful woman that walks by. He’s all about her. Once he figures this out, he totally locks it down with a marriage proposal that equals his creativity in the bedroom.

I’ve read Book 3 in the series, so I know what’s coming in the Movie Department. My favorite thing about this series is how their relationship grows and changes. He’s totally into her and learns to change his old spanky habits to become, well, nice spanky habits that she appreciates.

So, no, Mr. I Haven’t Read The Books, we don’t just like him because he’s loaded. If that were the case, we’d all be hot to trot for certain real estate tycoons that get involved in politics. There’s more to it. He’s classy, respectful, adoring, aggressive, creative, protective, and a provider. Isn’t that what we all hope for, or is the wine kicking in?

Happy dating!

The Tunnels and Devil’s Elbow are now both available in audiobook format.  Watch for Book 3 in the series this spring!

http://www.audible.com/pd/Mysteries-Thrillers/Devils-Elbow-Audiobook/B01N80VR5M/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl?qid=1487876185&sr=1-1

 

DEVIL’S ELBOW IN AUDIO!

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I’m super excited to announce that Devil’s Elbow, Book 2 in the Harbor Secret Series, is now available in an audiobook format!  This book is narrated by Allyson Voller.  No time to read?  Now you can listen to the story as you fall asleep, shovel snow, drive, or go for your morning run.  Some call it multi-tasking.  You can purchase the audiobook version at Audible.com, Amazon.com, and iTunes.  I’ve provided a link below.

https://www.audible.com/pd/Mysteries-Thrillers/Devils-Elbow-Audiobook/B01N80VR5M?ref_=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl&qid=1486667663&sr=1-1

devilselbowaudio

 

 

MANNING IT UP

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“I tried to tell him how the things he did made me feel,” my friend argued, “and he threw a mantrum!”

“A mantrum?” I asked, taking a moment for the new, self-explanatory word to sink in before laughing.

“Yes!  It was like an adult child was in the room.”

I couldn’t stop laughing.

“He’s pouting now,” she continued.

Regaining my composure, I asked, “So did he eventually calm down enough to talk it out?”

She let out an exasperated sigh. “Yes, but then he just started mansplaining, and I’m even more confused than I was before the whole discussion started. It just went on and on nonsensically. He even peppered it with a few sports analogies.”

Laughing again, I asked, “How many of these ‘man’ words do you have? Because they’re kind of brilliant.”

She rolled her eyes. “I think that’s it, but I may come up with more if this topic comes up again.”

Ladies, how many times have we had a guy say something that left us feeling taken aback? Seeing our response was not going to be favorable, he would immediately start mansplaining in an effort to go back and cover his tracks.

Frankly, whenever a guy has tried to mansplain something to me, I’m left with no idea how what he said applies to the situation at hand. What happened to that old saying that men are simple creatures who say exactly what they feel? Maybe they do in the sports and news departments but, when it comes to discussing a relationship or feelings, it’s not so simple.

The guy who throws a mantrum may have not-so-hidden anger issues. I’m not the kind of person who responds to yelling, jumping up and down, and pouting. Believe it or not, I don’t find that sexy. On the other hand, a guy who can empty the mousetrap for me, I find that pretty sexy. Now, what would I call him? A man-saver? A man-i-nator? A man-god? A man-cat? I guess I’m not as creative as my friend, so I’d better just stick with “hero” and make him a Manwich.

Happy dating!

You can still enter to win a signed copy of The Tunnels on Goodreads until February 2, 2017!

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30651560-the-tunnels

The Tunnels is now also available in an audiobook format.

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ENTER TO WIN “THE TUNNELS”!

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I’m excited to announce that, starting today, January 2, 2017, you can enter to win a free, signed copy of The Tunnels on Goodreads!  I’m attaching the link below.  Good luck!

https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/tag/mystery?page=5

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MEN’S PROFILE PICTURES

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As I browse through men’s profile pictures on dating sites, I notice many men don’t post pictures that include them. Instead of photos of themselves, I see photos of their motorcycle, photos of what they think is a fancy car, photos of their boat, and some have photos of their dog. Many post shirtless bathroom selfies. Grodie.

When I shop for a man online, am I really interested in seeing a guy’s abs of steel and bulging veins? Gross. I hate bulging veins. Do they feel these photos will make them more desirable to women? Aren’t all of the above, except the grodie shirtless bathroom selfie, something they should be showing to their male friends to impress them?

Are women really impressed by flashy cars, Harleys, abs of steel, and their dog? Okay, admittedly, the dog photos catch my eye. They don’t catch my eye and make me think “I want that guy for his great dog;” really, I think, “I need to rescue that poor dog.”

If a guy has abs of steel, that’s great; but it just isn’t appropriate or classy to be flashing your abs to people you don’t know. Save something for the third date. I understand that men are visual, and they might like to see a woman posting photos of her abs; but, really, aren’t most of us looking for more than the perfect body? Yes, there has to be some physical attraction and spark but, hey, my eyes are up here! I don’t need to see “the goods” until I get to know you, and I’m certainly not showing you mine.

Then we get to the photos of cars, motorcycles, and boats. Are these people just so insecure that they know no women will want to be with them unless there’s a good car, motorcycle, or boat in it for them? Maybe they think some women will like the bad-boy bikers. I’m sure some do. If that’s the case, the guy should be on or next to the bike, not just showing us a photo of some random bike he took. How do we even know it’s his?

Personally, as long as their car isn’t rusty and doesn’t look like it came off the set of Uncle Buck, I don’t care what kind of car they drive. Okay, I’ll admit a guy with a Mercedes turns my head; but, if I don’t care for the guy, the Mercedes isn’t going to be what makes me stick around. If guys’ heads are turned so easily by cars, maybe I should post a pic of my VW Tiguan on my profile. I’m sure they would be lining up around the block for a test drive.

After looking at a lot of profiles, since men are so visual, I decided to post one of the most attractive pictures I own to my profile. It’s a picture of a fresh batch of my salted caramel kookies. I’ll share it with you in case it makes you, I don’t know, feel like dating me.

Happy New Year, and happy dating!

The Tunnels is now available in audiobook format! PM me if you’re interested in receiving a free audiobook download in exchange for an honest review.

https://www.amazon.com/Tunnels-Harbor-Secret-Book/dp/B01NCN01T7/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

tunnelsaudio

 

 

THE TUNNELS AUDIOBOOK

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I am super excited to announce that The Tunnels is now available in audiobook.  Now you can download it and listen while you drive, exercise, or shovel snow!  Narration by Jack de Golia.

https://www.amazon.com/Tunnels-Harbor-Secret-Book/dp/B01NCN01T7/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

tunnelsaudio

DO WE EVER REALLY GET IT ALL?

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“But don’t you feel like you’re missing out on the right person?” I asked my friend in a candid lunch discussion.

“No. I believe I am with the right person.”

“But don’t you think the right person would be not only your best friend and a kind person but also someone that you have a spark with?” I argued.

“No, I don’t.”

I felt so sad hearing her response. “So you don’t believe in getting it all?”  My eyes stung.  “You don’t believe in soul mates?”

“Oh, yes, I believe in soul mates; and I believe I’m with my soul mate.”

I felt a pang of hope surge through me and leaned forward.  “But you would have a spark with your soul mate.  There would be amazing chemistry.”  I wanted to hear that she had it all.

She shrugged.  “I guess there was some chemistry in the beginning,” she offered weakly, “but the physical stuff becomes less important as you grow older.”

“But don’t you think your soul mate would have it all?” I pressed on, not liking the answers I was getting.

“I believe, with your soul mate, you learn to love different parts of them, and you don’t miss the parts that are missing.”

This idea left me reeling.  Had my soul mate come and gone, and I missed out because I was looking for the complete package?  Was having it all just some fantasy that women believe in like children believe in Santa?  Like Santa, we really hope it’s out there for us, but is it only an idea that doesn’t exist in reality?

Do we ever really get it all?  Maybe I’ve set my standards high because one of my close friends has it all, so I believe in it.  Is she just one of a very select group?  Don’t we all get it? If we choose someone that doesn’t give us the full package, are we settling?  Is that why they call it “settling down,” because we decide to overlook what’s missing and love what’s there?

When you think of the classic fairytales, the characters didn’t really spend much time getting to know each other; it was more of a love-at-first-sight thing.  Maybe their spark was so strong that they chose to love that part and overlook the personality part.  Like many women, I’ve always chosen to believe it was two soul mates recognizing each other at first sight.

So now I’m left to wonder how many of us have been close friends with the opposite sex but didn’t feel any spark and, hence, missed out on our soul mate?  Did we miss the opportunity of a lifetime, or are there some of us who will never settle for less than the complete package?  Are those the people who end up alone?

I once heard someone say that Santa is a spirit, and you either believe in him or don’t.  Maybe, like Santa, my soul mate is something that exists only in my mind.  Whether I believe in Santa or my soul mate and choose to make that belief a part of my life is completely up to me.

May you all find your complete package!  Happy dating!

Check out The Tunnels and Devil’s Elbow for some holiday weekend reading!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01H9CXO7C

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