As our society moves further away from in-person contact and more towards the impersonal contact of emails and text messages, sexting has become the new phone sex. Sexting is the dirty little secret that many engage in but won’t admit to. Not only does sexting involve sometimes not-so-creative messages, but it can also involve texted photographs.
It’s one thing if the sexting is consensual, and it’s another thing if it’s sexting by surprise. One minute the woman thinks she’s have a normal texting conversation. The next minute, the guy is telling her what he’d like to do to her and sending pictures of something that isn’t his face. I’m curious as to whether this approach has ever worked out for a guy. I miss the days when they’d send a cool vacation pic instead of a hot dog without a bun pic.
Moving on to consensual sexting, there are a few guidelines you might want to follow. The guidelines are similar to actual face-to-face sex guidelines. First, don’t be slutty with your sexting. You can’t sext just anyone you meet online. Wait until an in-person meeting. Then wait for the first date. Then wait until you learn where they grew up. Lastly, I’d suggest waiting until you get to second base in person before you give it up in the sexting department.
Another suggested rule would be to not sext photos of anything that’s not your face. What if you never hear from the other person again? Do you really want him prancing around town showing your nudie pics to his friends? I have a guy friend who has topless or totally nude pics of over twenty girls on his phone. Some he’s never even met in person. I’m astounded by the number of women who so freely send out nudie pics to strangers. Have we become that insecure? Use your words, people, use your words.
Suggestion Number 3 would be to be very, very careful that you have the right text address when you sext. Personally, I try not to engage in sexting because I know there is a very high possibility that I will accidentally send the message to someone I work for. Not cool. Worse yet, you could accidentally send the sext to one of your parents. I’m sure they wouldn’t appreciate explicit language or the grown-up view of what was once in your diapers.
The last piece of advice I have is to be careful what kind of impression you give to the person you’re sexting. Once you open Pandora’s Box, there’s no going back. The vibe between the two of you will forever be changed. If he once thought you were pure and innocent, he probably won’t think that anymore. If he thought you were holding out until the seventh date or three months or whatever your time line is, he probably will think he now gets to pass “Go” and collect $100.
Sexting, although often fun and innocent, should be used with caution. Save it for someone you’ve met and are in a relationship with. Someone you trust not to show your explicit messages to others. Someone who won’t someday use them against you in court. Someone who knows more verbs than “lick.” Most importantly, save it for someone who will still respect you after you’ve told him all the things you want to do to him.
May you all have consensual and safe sexting! Happy dating!
When a woman seeking to escape her past settles into the small town of Harbor Springs, she discovers more lives below the clear blue waters than fish! Check out “Leviathan,” Book 3 of the Harbor Secret Series! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B072QT248B