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Why do married men think it’s okay to hit on single women?   I can come up with three possible reasons off the top of my head.  First, their marriage is on the rocks, and they’re not seeing any action at home.  Second, they have a terminal illness and are trying to ensure their lineage will continue.  Third, they think that all single people are free and easy with the loving and can’t wait to hook up with anyone they can get…so why not them?

A male friend of mine offered a fourth option:  All men think women are attracted to them.  I think there might be some merit to this thought when I remember that no man is bright enough to be worried about being seen naked, even when they should be worried.  Women, on the other hand, are very aware of their every physical flaw.  Personally, I’m a firm believer in sucking in your stomach, but how many men think about that?  How many men argue to leave the lights on when they have no business being seen in the light without clothing on?  So I can definitely understand where my male friend is coming from.

Over the years, my single friends and I have been hit on by numerous married men.  I definitely get the feeling that they think they are gracing me with the option to break the “let no man throw asunder” rule.  If I take this part of their vow seriously, why don’t they?  If they’re so smitten with me or just want to play the field, why don’t they just get a divorce?  I’m sure their behavior will be more hurtful to their spouse if they stay married and carry on affairs than if they’d just gotten a divorce.

I’m the kind of person who believes, when you’re in love with someone, no one else looks good.  If you’re married and you feel yourself wanting to do the horizontal mambo with other women, maybe you shouldn’t be married.

Over the years, the passion fades in all relationships.  Hopefully, there is enough love and respect for each other left in the relationship to make up for it.  If there isn’t, casual flings with other women are not going to fill the void.  It may make you feel better about yourself for a moment, but how many conquests will it take to keep that feeling?  Shouldn’t you be looking for something more?

Maybe the men feel I’m so hard up that they will grace me with a one-night stand or, if I’m super lucky, an ongoing affair where they get their cake and eat it too.  Believe me, I can find enough single men that won’t be good to me on my own; I don’t need to add married men and their drama to the mix.

Maybe the married men have such a low opinion of single women that they think we’re just not worth loving, and casual affairs are all we’re good for.  Their behavior makes me feel like I’m not good enough to find my own person who thinks I walk on water…a person so crazy about me that he will think no one else looks good.  Maybe I’ve missed my chance with that person, or maybe he never existed.  Either way, thank you, married men, for your not-so-enticing offer; but it’s playing with fire.  I have enough problems in my life without being the one to “throw asunder” someone else’s dreams, even though they aren’t yours.

Happy dating!

The Tunnels is now available in hard copy!  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01H9CXO7C

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