We all have friends that disappear once they’re in a relationship, never to be seen again until the relationship ends and they need someone’s shoulder to cry on. We single friends get left in the cold until the tables turn.
How many married people get divorced only to discover that they have no single friends, and their married friends aren’t interested in doing single things? They suddenly realize not only are they alone, but they have no one to talk about the split with. Personally, I believe that venting is an integral part of the process of breaking up, so imagine the strangers you suddenly find yourself crying to after you’ve not made time for your single friends.
Worse yet, if you do have any single friends left, you find that you have little in common with them anymore. You likely have kids and other responsibilities to tend to, and they often don’t.
Personally, I find that I do things that are more true to myself when I’m single. When you’re in a relationship, you compromise or do things the other person likes because it makes them happy and, hence, makes you happy. Hopefully, they reciprocate. When out of a relationship, I don’t have to consider someone else, and I find it to be my most productive time. For example, I never wrote a book, performed stand-up comedy, danced professionally all over the word, or climbed the Half Dome while I was in a relationship. Thinking back over the years, the only things I did while in relationships were form two of my businesses. Small feats in comparison, in my eyes.
The grass always looks greener on the other side. The single people envy the stability and companionship, the finding of true love (hopefully), and the chance to leave a piece of yourself behind that you get in a relationship. Married people envy the freedom that single people have. Of course, I think they imagine that we all have the wild dating and sex lives of the Sex And The City girls.
My best friend says that every time a relationship ends, I take up a new hobby. Thinking back, maybe she’s right. Maybe that’s just my way of getting my hurt and disappointment out in a creative fashion. Maybe many failed relationships have led me to become an extremely well-rounded person. Maybe I try to fill the void left from once again losing a chance at happily ever after. Maybe we should work to achieve a better balance in our relationships.
And now to think of what I’ll do when my next relationship ends. I think I’ll tryyyy….art. Maybe I’ll be better at painting than I am at relationships.
Happy dating, and may you never forget your single friends.
Nine Days Ever After, Book 4 in the story of Katie and Costas, is now available in hard copy!