One of my friends was accused by her boyfriend to have committed a crime that she didn’t. The boyfriend was upset and suggested they end things even though she stepped up and apologized profusely for a crime she wasn’t really guilty of.
The thing that bothers me the most about this situation is that the guy not only does not believe her, but he also refuses to accept her apology. It’s an apology that, in my opinion, shouldn’t even be necessary because she didn’t do anything wrong. By apologizing, is my friend just pleading guilty to a crime she didn’t commit in order to receive a lesser punishment?
I was with a guy that I was so crazy about that every day was like being in La-La Land. I couldn’t be happier or feel more secure until we were looking at something on his phone and a text came in from another woman. Needless to say, the text was informing him that she was now going to bed and concluded with, “Goodnight, baby!” In that one instant, my heart sunk, and my La-La Land crumbled around me.
When I’d gathered my wits enough to ask him about it the next day, he calmly and easily informed me that it was just some crazy girl, and it meant nothing. He concluded that sentence with “promise.” He then continued to tell me he wouldn’t be with me if he had something else going on.
Yes, that all made sense and was perfectly logical. I believed him. I found it terribly suspicious that a “crazy” girl had his personal cell number, seemed to think he was interested in knowing when she went to bed, called him “baby,” and was a Facebook friend; but I believed him.
In a relationship there has to be some level of trust, so I chose to give him the benefit of the doubt because I wanted things to move forward. My friend’s boyfriend, on the other hand, is not only not extending her that level of trust, but he’s not accepting her apology. My friend made him cookies and sent a sweet letter, and he is still ignoring her. Could he be using this as an “out”? As a female, if I really felt the guy had wronged me, I’d probably continue the silent treatment until he threw in two tickets to Aruba. I suggested to my friend that maybe she should up the ante and throw in two tickets to at least Kentucky, but she is adamant that she shouldn’t have to spend any more time sucking up for something she did not do wrong.
I agree with my friend that she shouldn’t have to grovel when her man throws a tantrum; and, frankly, usually that is something the chick does. If she pleads guilty to an offense she didn’t commit in an attempt to receive a lesser punishment, will he really let it go or punish her for it ever after?
My thought is that you should always tell the truth, but you need to trust the person you’re in a relationship with as well and be forgiving. Being the bigger person and apologizing for something you didn’t do is a noble idea, but maybe the bigger person should be the one receiving the apology.
May you all behave graciously when receiving apologies, and may you all have the faith to believe the one you love. Happy dating!