One of my friends recently told me that he only breaks up with people in public places, preferably a restaurant. When asked why he didn’t just do it with a phone call, he said he thinks it’s best when it’s face to face so, if they have questions, they can get them all out and there is closure.
I’m a busy person. If I took time out of my schedule to throw myself together and go to a restaurant, only to be broken up with over dinner, I’d be ticked! First, I don’t throw myself together for just anyone. I could be home getting work done or writing my next steamy romance novel, so don’t waste my time. Secondly, asking questions doesn’t matter because, if someone doesn’t want to be with you, the reason doesn’t matter. Either they do or they don’t; the “why” is insignificant. Lastly, if I really liked that person and started to cry, crying in public would only add to the humiliation. Not cool.
When I asked my girlfriends what they thought about this, they had different feelings on the subject. They basically equated the method of break-up to the amount of time you had been dating. So, if it’s three dates or less, not calling again is acceptable. If it’s three months or less, a text message is sufficient. If it’s longer than three months, not only did they think it should be face to face, but there should be some discussion involved regarding possibilities for working things out.
In the popular TV series Sex And The City, Carrie is appalled when she is broken up with on a Post-It note. Personally, I don’t see the big problem with it, but she was pretty bent out of shape. Is leaving a note nicely telling someone you never want to see them again such a bad thing? I mean I wouldn’t end a marriage that way, but I feel it’s okay after a few months of dating.
As the song says, “Breaking up is hard to do,” and I can totally understand why someone would want to avoid any confrontation via the face-to-face thing. Maybe I like the text message or Post-It note method best because it allows me to maintain my tough “I don’t care” exterior rather than having someone see my emotions all over my face. Maybe I don’t want them to see how badly they’ve hurt me. Maybe I don’t want them to see me cry.
In a nutshell, my friends all think it’s better to break up via phone call or face to face. I’ve got to admit, it takes a lot more courage to do it like that, and you’re probably pretty classy if you roll that way. I, on the other hand, will remain the exception to the rule when I say I prefer a light-hearted text that is clear yet doesn’t make me cry. The beauty of that is, if I do cry, no one will ever know.