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A man-child is a man who has grown up on the outside but not on the inside.  Although they’re fun to be around and usually the life of the party, they are very difficult to be in a relationship with because you keep expecting them to act like an adult.

One of my girlfriends had a man-child (unknown to her at the time) pester her for a date for months.  One day he asked her if she wanted to go on a day-trip with him.  After having him so ardently pursue her for so many months, she thought he must really like her and agreed.

His mode of transportation was a little questionable, so she offered to drive, and he agreed.  She Mapquested the directions, and he slept all the way to the destination with his feet up on her dashboard.  Once they arrived at the destination, he complained about everything from her walking too fast to the kind of lettuce used in his salad.

They proceeded to the next location.  He again slept all the way there, this time with super-stinky feet on her dashboard.  Once they arrived, he informed her that he wanted to stay in the car and sleep and proceeded to let her walk around an area near downtown Detroit alone, obviously feeling no sense of protection.

When he saw how excited she was about the dinner restaurant she had chosen, he offered to bring her back again for dinner sometime.  My friend kindly turned to him and said, “Oh, sweetie, after the way you behaved today, I’ll never go out with you again.”

When she dropped him off at his house, he tried to get her to come inside for sex.  Seriously?  Why would a guy ever, ever, ever think he could behave like a 12-year-old boy all day and get lucky at the end of it?  What could he possibly be thinking?

I have also dated man-children and, although they are outgoing, fun, and know no fear, they will always accept your offer to pay part of the dinner they invite you out to.  They will never hold a door open for you; my nose still hurts.  They will own and play video games.  They live in non-mortgage debt long after their 30s end.  They want to be rich but have no idea how and no desire to work for it.  You will need to get in a fight to get him to mow the lawn.  He doesn’t have the sense to go to sleep eight hours before he has to be up for work.  He won’t eat vegetables.  He will never send you flowers, and he thinks he can wear a black shirt and black pants together when the blacks are different shades.

Beware of these men.  I tried settling and overlooking all of these flaws, and it only got progressively worse to the point where I could not stand the person.  If I’m going to mow the lawn, clean up, pay for and take care of someone else, it had better be an actual 12-year-old or else have the looks of Ryan Reynolds.  These guys had neither.

So, ladies, although you might really like playing Ms. Pac-Man, beware the man-child.  Try as you might to communicate and work things out, they will only break your heart if you let it get that far.

Happy but cautionary dating!

My books, Nine Days In Greece and Risking The Nine Days, are now available in hard copy!  http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00P6ZB2ZQ?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

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