My most unusual date is not to be confused with my worst date. My worst date involved a guy who was too chicken to kiss me goodnight when he dropped me off and left. He apparently thought about it, changed his mind, and came back 30 minutes later, when I was all washed up and snuggled into bed. He started pounding on my front door, and it quickly escalated to him screaming at the top of his lungs for me to come down. When I didn’t, he started shouting some not-so-nice words. Tempting? Not. The neighbors called the police, and that ended that.
The most unusual date was with what seemed to be a very nice man that I met online. I knew that he worked for a garbage company and that he met my taller-than-me height requirement.
The unusual part started when he told me he’d recently had a front tooth knocked out at work and was waiting to get it replaced. Knowing I can be a little superficial on a first date, I suggested that we wait to meet until he got it fixed. He assured me that he’s “never had any problem impressing women,” and he was fine with it. He didn’t realize my worry was with my perception and not his level of comfort. Kudos to his self-confidence; I wish we all had that much.
Thankfully, I never let a stranger pick me up for a first date, and I was doubly thankful when I saw a full-sized garbage truck pull into the parking lot of the restaurant we were meeting at and out popped my date. What if he’d picked me up driving this? How would I ever get up those giant steps in a skirt and keep my knees together? I took solace knowing that at least I wouldn’t have to ride inside…I could ride on the back and swing on the pole.
Now, I know that guys like my three-year-old nephew are impressed with big trucks, but I’m guessing that most chicks, including myself, are not really impressed with big trucks, at least for dating. I’d given him several days and times he could choose to meet, and he chose this one. I didn’t realize I’d be catching him in the middle of his work shift. Unusual.
As we walked into the restaurant, myself dressed in a skirt and sweater, himself dressed in a sweatshirt and painter pants, he emoted nothing but confidence as he took control of the situation and got us a nice booth. Again, I’ve got to give him credit for the confidence. Nice but unusual.
As we sat down and began to talk, he smiled. He smiled a smile full of giant white teeth…except for one. An important one. Then I noticed the gold hoop earring in one ear of his hairless head. Now, keep in mind that only a very small percentage of the population can pull off “the pirate look.” As my three-year-old nephew would say, “Jack Parrow.” Yep, Johnny Depp has that look in the bag. It doesn’t work for everyone, especially those not at sea. Unusual.
He was a very friendly fellow and liked to talk, especially while he chewed. A lot. And I couldn’t help but stare at his mouthful of chewed food and the black hole at the front of it. It made it very difficult to keep my mind on what he was saying. Friendly but unusual.
When the date ended, he walked me to my car, rubbing my back, picking my hair off of my sweater, and getting into my space. I politely thanked him for meeting me. He told me to give him a call if I was interested in getting together again.
Whew! There was my “out.” I was off the hook without any confrontation.
Au contraire, mon frere. When I didn’t call my garbage man in a week, instead of taking the hint, he called and left a horribly cruel message on my voice mail calling me all sorts of names. In retrospect, I guess I dodged a bullet. The guy that seemed nice but unusual wasn’t really as nice as he seemed. Maybe sometimes one should judge a book by its cover.