There are certain times that you fight for a relationship and certain times that you walk away. When you’re married to someone, you’ve made a commitment to do your best, and you fight for it. When you’re dating, you’ve made no commitment; and, if it’s not working out, you walk away and look for a better fit. After all, that’s what dating really is, shopping for the perfect fit. If you’re not crazy about the dress in the store, you won’t like it more later. Don’t buy it. You will eventually find one that you are crazy about.
One of my friends told me about a first date he had with someone, and the conversation was very strained and uncomfortable, yet he asked her out on another date. If there is no click on that first date that usually only lasts an hour, the second date is going to be even harder when you’ve already covered all of the major topics to discuss. Time to keep shopping.
Another friend said that on a first date a woman made a not-so-nice comment about his weight, yet he asked her out again and even gave her an expensive gift. Again, why would you want to fight for or even impress someone who says not-so-nice things to you on a first meeting? It’s not only inconsiderate and hurtful, but it’s so superficial.
I believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and, if that person is the one for you, it doesn’t matter whether they are tall, short, fat, skinny, young, or old. If there’s magic afoot, that’s when you fight for it. If there’s hurtful behavior afoot, bag them. People bring their “A Game” to a first date. If the actions cited above reflect their good side, you don’t want to see their bad side. My advice is to cut your losses now before emotions become involved and someone gets attached.
Yesterday another friend told me how he’s been dating a woman for a year that is an alcoholic. When I asked him why he was still with her, he said, “Because you need to overlook certain things if you don’t want to be alone.” Although that statement is true, I think he may need to be a bit more selective as to what he chooses to overlook. And don’t think that I didn’t notice his reason wasn’t something like, “I’m totally in love with her” or “she’s the one.” Those might be good reasons to stay in the relationship. My crystal ball sees tears in his future.
In summary, the great Kenny Rogers sang, “You’ve got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em.” If it’s a long-term relationship and you’re just going through a rough spot but still believe they are your one and only, hold ’em. If you’re early on in the dating experience, this is when you feel around and find out if you’re compatible. If they don’t float your boat, fold ’em.