A while back I was hit on very aggressively by a married man.  He spent the whole day at work smiling at me and getting his flirt on to the point that he needed questions repeated.  At the end of the day, he walked me to the parking lot.  He proceeded to call and text me inappropriately.

I was quite upset by this but knew that I could not tell my admittedly-insecure boyfriend at the time because he would say mean things to me.  So I kept that incident and all other inappropriate advances to myself.  I soon found out that the insecure boyfriend had a girlfriend…besides me.

When things like this happen, it’s an easy end to a relationship for me.  If anything, I feel sad for the guy with all of these issues.  They’ll never know the security of being in love with and having that special connection with just one woman.  Although they may feel they know someone thoroughly, no one will ever know them thoroughly.  They’ll never feel happy and content with where they are in life or who they are with.  Every word out of their mouth would be a lie that sought to cover their indiscretions.  I would never be able to believe anything that they said.

A married man even told me how bad things were with his wife and that he planned to end it soon.  How thoughtful of him to confess this to someone that he’d just met.  I’ve seen enough Lifetime movies to know that they never leave their wife, and they never stop cheating.

In the movie The Other Woman, Cameron Diaz meets the perfect guy.  She soon finds out that he’s married.  The wife soon finds out about Cameron Diaz.  Then they both find out that he has a third girlfriend that’s 15 years younger than either of them.  At the end of the movie, the guy breaks down and says he’s an insecure guy, and he needs attention from a lot of women.  It seems that he’s not the only guy that feels this way.

The part that gets me is that the guys that are insecure and need attention from multiple women are guys that have no reason to be insecure.  They’re usually good-looking guys that have good jobs and know how to treat women well – except for the inability to truly commit to one.  Maybe never feeling like they have enough is the element that motivates them to be successful at work as well as to see how many women they can get attention from.

So I then wonder what could cause this insecurity, if that’s what it is.  Maybe they’re just greedy, or maybe they haven’t grown up.  Or maybe, just maybe, someone once hurt them so deeply and unexpectedly that they need to get attention from many women in order to validate their self-worth.  Maybe he can show the world how virile he is by collecting the hearts of women in a jar left on his nightstand.  The thing is, no matter how many hearts he collects and breaks, he will never get back the person that broke his own heart.  Maybe he’ll never recover and is doomed to spend a lifetime never truly belonging to someone.  How sad.

Whatever the reason, the number of men who just can’t get enough seems to be growing because I run across them more and more often.  I always try to give them the benefit of the doubt in the beginning but, once I find out they’re not the person I’d hoped them to be, I have my crystal ball into my future.  If I were to look into my crystal ball and continue to believe them, then I would probably deserve what I got in the end.