One of my friends tends to call me superficial when I date guys who are universally considered to be good looking. It’s not intentional, but sometimes not only do I find them attractive, but I actually like them. Sometimes I just find them attractive but realize we have no connection. Sometimes I don’t find them physically attractive but find they are super funny and fun to be with.
The best-looking guy I ever dated a while back was an age-appropriate guy that I met through work. He was regularly on commercials. After my parents and grandma met him, my grandma spent the rest of her life telling me every time she saw him on a commercial and asking again what happened with him. He was incredibly handsome, smart, and treated me very well, but we just didn’t have any chemistry. When he kissed me, I felt nothing. Although I had to end it because I knew it was not a good fit, it’s fun to think back and remember him in all of his perfection and to remember that I once had a shot at him. Somewhere out there he has a very lucky wife.
Last year I reconnected with a guy from my past that I found to be incredibly attractive but my friends considered to be average or below. We had an amazing chemistry, and I was disappointed to learn that he’d started dating someone out of town since we’d last parted ways. Hoping to change his mind, I continued to see him off and on for nine months but, alas, my moment had passed, and he stayed with his girlfriend. I probably deserved that since I’d ended things when we’d dated in the past.
The least attractive guy that I dated turned out to be one of the most fun and adventurous people, and we dated for quite a while. We didn’t have great chemistry, and I didn’t have stars in my eyes when I looked at him; but, for a period of time, I had the time of my life with him.
Looking back at my life so far, I’ve dated some pretty amazing guys. There was the supermodel that was rated as one of the top models in the world, there were a couple of multi-millionaires, a world renowned chef, and an exotic traveler. I’ve been lucky enough to meet and date guys from many different countries all over the world. Most have been great to me, and a few turned out to be less than the person I’d hoped they were, which makes it easy to move on.
What my friend doesn’t understand when she criticizes me for dating someone that is universally good looking is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I’ve dated guys that everyone else thought were incredibly handsome but I wasn’t attracted to at all. I’m sorry if some of the men I’m attracted to and connect with are considered attractive by everyone else, but I’ve also dated plenty of guys that I adored that my friends said, “I can’t believe you’re with him.”
Everyone is different, and everyone is attracted to different qualities. Not caring what your friends think and finding someone that you are attracted to, connect to, and who treats you well are just part of the journey. How amazing would it be to find a guy that had all of those qualities and more? There’s only one way to find out.